The following are an example of what NOT to put in an erotica story. I review for the lovely NovelSpot and I love reviewing.

However, there are some lines that I can't read without laughing my butt off at them.

When referring to the clit: "juicy love button". This makes me think of the 'big red button' that the government has programmed, that, when pressed, will set off all the bombs the US owns. (If you believe in the great conspiracy that is, which I don't, but it's an example)

When referring to the vagina: "her creaming gate." Ok, I picture chain link with a weird sort of plant growing all over it. And my next thought is 'I wonder of I'll have to bleach that off?' not, "Oh, goody, sex!" Sex is the last thing on my mind with the image of the gate in my head.

When referring to the penis: "man meat". I think of Jeffery Dahmer, and we all know what a stunning example of normality he was.

Also in reference to the penis: "mushroom headed". Yeah, I know it looks like one, but I've got a personal thing against fungus. I scrub my shower to make sure I don't have it growing in there, I hate eating it, and I certainly don't want the mental image that line provokes, esp. when it concerns delicate parts of the female body.

And the whole tongue in the butt thing? Ick.