My life has been boring. No, seriously, it makes Moby Dick read like an action-thriller.

I have started working as a housekeeper for a large hotel chain, and I hate it. I've picked up more condoms since I started there than I ever have before in the six years since I started having sex. I hate condoms, not using them, but the way they feel. I make Hubby take care of it himself; his seed, he can take care of it.

The sheer energy it takes to clean the rooms. Most the time, it involves stripping the sheets of both the beds (or the king size bed and usually the sofa bed in the room with the king), vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom and the kitchenette area, and remaking both the beds. I've spent more time bent over at work than I ever have at home (or anywhere else for that matter) and my back is ready to leave the union of Ms. Turner and strike out on its own. Same with my knees.

So, I'm looking for another job. Anything other than housekeeping.

I did a search online and found a want ad for a 'phone actress'. Okay, my curiousity is piqued. So I click on it. 'Must have sexy voice!' Then it clicks: phone sex girl. No one ever said I'm the brightest buld on the chandelier when I'm without my coffee.

No phone sex for me, I lack the proper voice. I've got a little girl voice (at least in my head anyway) and, unless you've got some kink that I don't want to know about, little girl voices don't turn you on. They make you want to ask how old the phone sex operator is and to make sure she's legal.

The newest pet, a black cat named Uzi, is in heat, for the second time this month. I miss Celeste, at least when she was in heat, she couldn't honk. Yes, Uzi HONKS. It'd be cute if it wasn't so damn annoying.

Had my annuel poke-and-prod, now waiting for results. When you get an abnormal one, you get uber-paranoid about every lab result later. After the colposcopy, the next step is cyrotherapy. I don't want frozen anything approaching my girly bits, so I'm hoping for a normal result. Besides, military doctors aren't know for the delicate work; my luck, I'd get the field medic with the shakes and he'd freeze my clit off.